What is Grief?
"There is no grief which time does not lessen and soften". –Cicero
Closely related to bereavement, grief is the emotional, psychological, and physical reaction to loss; most commonly encountered following the deaths of a significant others. Grief is universal and has been found to exist in various forms across cultures and throughout history. Nonetheless, the experience of grief remains individual in nature. Processing grief requires individuals to use coping skills, to rely on social support, and to eventually adjust to a world without their loved one in it. This process has been theorized as being beneficial in nature, allowing individuals to come to terms with loss and to eventually emerge with renewed strength and understanding. However, stress is often associated with the grief process, which can impact every area of a person’s life and create significant problems for those who fail to successfully address their grief.
Working through your grief can be a painful process, but it's often necessary to ensure your future emotional and physical wellbeing. There is no single way to grieve. Everyone is different and each person grieves in his or her own way. A number of theories exist that help to explain the grief process, but a universal theory of grief has yet to be developed. Stage or phase theories have received a great deal of attention and offer a simple way to help understand the grief process. Kubler-Ross (1982) has proposed the following stages of grief:
• Denial – following the death of the loved one, the person grief may experience disbelief that the death has occurred and struggle to accept that the actuality of the death.
• Anger – Anger may follow denial, as the grieving person struggles with their inner emotions and the “unfairness” of the death.
• Bargaining – The grieving person may try to negotiate the death away. For example, a child might say, “I promise to be a better person, if only my Mother would come back.”
• Depression – In this stage, the grieving person has realized that the deceased will not come back to life and experiences feelings of hopelessness and depression.
• Acceptance – Emerging from depression, the grieving person learns to accept the death and to live life again without the deceased.
For more information on stage theories, please click on the following.
While a number of theories exist that might help to explain your grief, it is important to note that your grief is your own and your grief process will be influenced by your own characteristics (such as your faith and your past experiences) and the environment around you (such as your family, friends, and community). There are resources that can help you through your grief process, such as grief counselors available through your school or local hospice program, educational resources, such as those available on the internet or in the library, and online counseling, support, and sharing, such as the services available on this website. Most importantly, please know that what you are feeling is most likely normal and natural and that you are not alone in your grief.
Disclaimer
This is NOT a real bereavement service provider. Please contact the National Hospice and Palliative Care Organization or the National Hospice Foundation to find a hospice organization near you.
To view Developing an Online Community for Grieving Adolescents project here.