Katie's Story
Katie’s mom had breast cancer since she was 10. Katie’s mom was sick in hospice with breast cancer for a while before the doctor’s said she was about to go. Katie asked her dad if her and her sister could stay home from school the day the doctor’s said she was close. She imagined it would be like in the movies, where they laughed and talked about all the times the enjoyed in life. It was nothing like that. “It was horrible”, Katie said. “She was in so much pain, I just wanted her to pass just so I wouldn’t have to watch her discomfort. I just want her to be at peace.”
Because Katie’s mom had been sick for so long, most of the town knew she was not well and Katie and her sister, Diane, were overwhelmed by the attention they received after their mother’s death. It was if everyone they had ever met had received a phone call after their mother died. Everyone sending their sympathies and wanting to talk to them about their experiences—Katie didn’t like that at all.
She couldn’t talk to her dad about death; he was too overwhelmed with the loss. Katie didn’t want to talk to her sister; she was so much younger than Katie. Katie didn’t even feel she could talk to her best friend Jen because Jen didn’t know anyone who had died before. Katie was looking forward to attending the bereavement support group at the hospice her mother had passed from. The leader, Michelle, had met her mother and knew there family and had been talking to Katie about attending the adolescent group and for Diane to attend the youth support group. Katie was sad and really wanted to talk to someone her age that knew what she was going through.
Katie was not feeling great at the first bereavement group, but really excited to meet people that knew what she was going through. She enjoyed talking with the other teens about her memories, painting pictures, and writing poems that reminded her of her mother. She became really good friends with another group member, Megan, who also lost her mother, but was taking it a lot worse than Katie. Katie helped Megan overcome her grief and they became very close friends.
Katie came up with the idea to plant a memorial garden for her mother, which she got the idea from an activity they did in support group. After obtaining permission from the city Katie, her sister Diane, her dad and her aunt planted a garden at the local park her mother used to take them to when Diane and Katie were younger.
They have been planting flowers at the garden for three springs now. Katie and Megan are older now, but they still go out to dinner and hangout on weekends.
Caleb's Exeperience with Bereavement
Return to What is Bereavement?
Disclaimer
This is NOT a real bereavement service provider. Please contact the National Hospice and Palliative Care Organization or the National Hospice Foundation to find a hospice organization near you.
To view Developing an Online Community for Grieving Adolescents project here.